Life yesterday, today and tomorrow

There's a time that we suddenly remembered someone that we had forgotten for a long time. It was back when you never know their existence. Suddenly, out of the blue, someone mention their name. You suddenly know what would happen to you. All the memories, long talks, sweet conversations and everything about them is rushing in your little mind. You know that you miss them for a sudden. You know that you need them at that time. You know that everything would be back to normal when you are with them.
Then, suddenly it goes to where you started to become friends with the person. In a short time, your relationship gets stronger, and then there's the time that both of you are committed to be together. Everything seems blissful. Its like in a dream, but you are in reality. Realising this, you know you are the happiest person in the world. Lots of things that you have done with this person. Its just so happy and undescribable, like you know you'll be always living in a great day everyday. It was a bless. You are thankful to God in what you have been given. Having this person has been enough in your life, because both of you completes each other.
However, the CONFLICT come. You both blame each other. You both knew that apologizing each other and that fixing up the broken pieces is the best. This is because both of you wants to keep each other at their side. This is love. But, love that only comes from one side would not be enough. There's EGO to stir up the relationship. There DISTRUST to destroy everything. You are no longer trust each other. It became hates mingled with love. You either want to let go, but you still want to keep holding on. Still, it hurts the both of you. You are no longer the same anymore. Same with your partner. There's ARGUES that keeps on growing up and worsen. Both of you know the decision is just to let go. Even if it hurts, but it is the best. You know that it will be okay because that hurts is only once and it can be healed. So, both of you break the chains that once binded you together. Each leaving the traces of memory that could never be forgotten but could only be missed and remembered. In each others heart, both are hoping that you could never be taken. And you will be waiting them, but you never know what would happen in the future.
Now that it has been a long time. You have healed from the broken heartedness. You are no longer crying each and every night. You are no longer feel like you are going to die, but then it was from this someone that you knew mentioned them. It is clearly that everything that was buried behind has been dug out. You just don't know  what to do. It suddenly hurts you. You feel helpless. Tears rolled down back but, it just a tears of regret. Sometimes it is the tears of wonder. You either feel thankful for what you are now. Thankful that all the broken hearted makes you a stronger being. If you feel sad, maybe its just that your feelings towards this person is so strong. You just can't let them go. Even seeing them moving on happily feels so hellish to you. Right behind them and deep down in your heart, you just want them to come back to you. Everybody would feel like that. Some are strong to accept the changes, because they have to take a new chances for their life. Some are just afraid to move on. Stuck it their way. Waiting for that someone. Whatever it is, if you are being like that, you won't see your beautiful life in front of you. Who knows there might be your prince charming waiting for you ahead, willing to take your hand like a princess and heals all your wounds and bruises that comes from your long journey just to find them.
In short, life is always beautiful. Even if you misses this one person who once lighten your world, it doesn't mean that your world would always be dark. There are a lot of lights in this world. Find some light that could never be fix, repaired or replaced. Your world is important to you. Colored it with experience, joy, happiness and laughter. Even you know you might fall and fall again, you can always get up, clears the dust on your knee, give your biggest smile to the world, and say "I'm Okay!". When life gets tired of your hyperactivity, that's when they give up and just let you be you. :)

Someone is watching over Me

Do you ever feel that you are being watched by someone else? Not the kind that of watch where somebody is stalking you. Its a kind like where you know that someone that you know is taking over this somebody's job to watch over you, taking care of you, and reporting everything about you. It's not that you are obsessed with it. It is just your instinct telling you to it.
You can refuse to reject this kind of feelings, but what if its get stronger and you just don't know what to do. There are times that you just want to ask the person directly. It is so annoying when you feel like that. The feeling of annoyed mixed tears that you want to blurt out mixed with the feeling of missing them so badly. It is hurting you inside, but you just don't know what to say what to do. All you hope is that someone would come and tell the whole truth to you. You just want them to say "I miss you so much" or "I love you" or "I am sorry for what I have done."
Even if this word is uttered in their mouth, you know you want it from them, but you were so angry to them that they took a long time to say it to you. At the time you want to forgive them, you remember all the things why both of you being like this. In the end, the ego comes up and destroyed everything, where you just stay silent, move away from them with tears in the eyes and hoping that they might come and rescue you. Its a kind of rescue where someone hugs you from your behind and whispered in your ear that they needed you so badly and doesn't want to lose you anymore.
It would be the best feelings if everything of this would come true. But, you just have to make your own choices then. Choose wisely so that it might not hurt you again. Choose so that you can grow in faith and hope.

Another Comeback

I am so sorry for not writing again. It has been so long that I didn't write it here. Haha! Well, I am back now. It just that I don't have any ideas what to wrote here. There's no exciting moment about me this time. I am so busy with my assignments and group projects. Well, by the way, I thought of going to take neuroscience as my final year project. However, I didn't get it. Too bad. Still, I'm planning to get neuroscience, because its what that I am interested in. Actually, the real thing that I am interested in is more into technical, but I'm scared that I might not be able to cope it. I'm scared that I might be too tension and depressed. Point on the my health condition again, that does not required me to work very hard, especially on physical thing. Well, I'm glad that I can write here again. I tried to find time again to wrote a lot of interesting stuff. :)